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Friday, August 20, 2010

It got better.

Yesterday got better. For me. My awful luck spread to my sister. Her car ran out of gas...at a four way stop.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

My Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day

I'm challenging Alexander for his terrible horrible no good very bad day. Here it is:

1-Woke up late for Zumba. So I rushed around the house like a mad woman brushing my teeth while washing my face and slipping my gym clothes on.
2-As I'm rushing out the door I can't find my keys. I know there around somewhere but I don't have time to scour my house for them. So I grabbed my spare set from my secret hiding place and run out the door.
3-I arrive at Zumba only slightly behind and proceed to jump in to the first dance. Halfway through I trip. Over myself. Because I am not coordinated. It doesn't help that there are mirrors in the room so I'm sure everyone saw me. But I suck it up and keep going.
4-I run home so I can get showered and finish up some things for a meeting I have with the district director of special education. I grab my keys and while proceeding to open my door I realize that my spare set of car keys doesn't have my house key. Great. Hopefully I was in such a rush I didn't lock my door. No such luck. It's locked. This reminds me I need to work on my B&E skills.
5-I reach into my purse to call my sister who has my spare house key. Oh, wait for it....NO PHONE! It's in the house. With my house key.
6-I drive up to campus to see if my sister is home. She's not. I drive to the Lundstrom center and find her car. But she's in a massive meeting and I can't see her through the crowd of people. And I'm not about to walk in and search for her as I look like a sweaty and red from embarassment and lack of oxygen. So I wait. For 20 minutes. I decided to leave a note on her car which read:
HELP! I'm locked out of my apartment. Please come rescue me. I'll be camped out at home. Love your stupid sister.
7-I figure her meeting will be going for a little while so I head to the library to pick up the books I have on hold. I'm too late, they've returned most of them to the shelves or given them to other people. This is just the icing on the cake. I try to hold in my tears as I search for some new books. And as I do I run into someone who was roommates with my ex and didn't like me much. Great. He sees me all nasty. I know this doesn't seem like a big deal, but it rubs me wrong all the same.
8-I find some books and head home. It's too cold from all the darn rain to sit out and read so I sit in my car. For 2 hours. And I'm starving. I wanted to go ask my neighbors to borrow their phone, but one set was out and the other apartment houses an oriental woman who avoids me at all costs and has not spoken to me since I moved in over a year ago.
9-Finally my neighbors came home, and gratefully my sister picked up when I called her. I picked up my keys and got into the house.

My day sucked. All before 1:00. If it doesn't get better, I'm not getting up tomorrow.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Shark Week

Discovery channel has a drug called Shark Week. You sit down thinking that you'll watch for a few minutes and the next thing you know, the couch is molded to your body and your eyes are flitting back and forth watching out for sharks. And it's not just for one day...but a whole week- hence the name Shark Week. I love it.

There are some very odd facts that are presented in shark week. It never hurts to soak up useless information or watch insane people. Here are some of my responses to the interesting information and exhibits of ridiculousness I have observed.

-- "There have been 125 documented unprovoked attacks [in this area]. There have also been 78 provoked attacks. I'm going to provoke the bull sharks and see what happens." Seriously- why would anyone provoke a shark? Let's get some chopped tuna and wave it around in front of me while I'm NOT in a cage just to see what happens. Smart. No wonder you're a marine biologist that is on TV, you couldn't get a respectable job anywhere.
-- Bull sharks have a testosterone level of 900. The average male has a testosterone level of 40. Men, let the envy begin.
-- Flapping your feet like a seal is never a good move. Especially in murky water. You don't have to be a genius to figure that out.
-- "I decided to go for a sunset swim by myself." When you hear that on a shark-week show, you know what's coming.


However, the survival stories are amazing. And most of the people are eager to get back in the water once they've healed. I'm enthralled by the awesome power of these animals. Great Whites are like rockets that can hit you with a two-ton force. Some sharks can even lower the salt water levels in their bodies to migrate to different waters. Although I'm not eager to jump in the water where sharks are known to hang out, I'm happy to watch their majesty from the comfort of my own home.